My Roommate Sucks

Thanksgiving treats

imaroomy — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:53:34 +0000

I went home during Thanksgiving break and asked my roommate to put the trash on the curb — since I cleaned the house — before she left. Fair trade, but she forgot. Upon returning “home,” I found three large trash bags sitting in the garage and surprise! Infested with maggots. Double surprise: She wasn’t around to deal with it, so there I was, holding three bags as far away from me as possible while trying not to throw up. MRS

Columbia, Mo.

The usual

imaroomy — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:51:18 +0000

My roommate spent her nights partying. When she did come home (at about 4 a.m.), she proceded to throw up in the bathroom right next to my bedroom door … and I had a 7 a.m. class. MRS

Chattanooga, Tenn.

Chocolate milk clothes

imaroomy — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:43:25 +0000

My roommate spilled spoiled (chocolate) milk all over her clothes in her bedroom. She threw the clothes in the washer before going to a party. Two days later, when I needed to do laundry, I opened up the washer and her spoiled clothes were still there, unwashed. MRS

Chattanooga, Tenn.

Magical Mystery … food

imaroomy — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:26:45 +0000

My roomy found out that her long-time boyfriend had been smoking pot behind her back. He convinced her she didn’t understand how awesome pot was. She tried it, got hooked and every weekend it was a huge smoke fest on our back porch. My food starting disappearing as a result of what I assume to be the munchies. MRS

St. Louis, Mo.

Remember to share

imaroomy — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:25:13 +0000

Living in a house of three girls, we all committed to bringing something to share with the group. Me: coffee table. Roomie # 1: sofa. Roomy # 2: pots and pans. Roomy # 2 decided early on that she didn’t want to live with us anymore so she packed up her pots and pans six months before she planned to move out. We discovered this the hard way, with pancake batter ready to be poured and no pots to put them in. MRS

Columbia, Mo.

Breaking the silence

imaroomy — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:37:06 +0000

After about two weeks of my roommates not talking to me, one of them finally breaks the silence by asking me to help her put a tampon in, while I was playing Mario Kart with my boyfriend and his roommate. MRS

From: Worcester, Mass.

Fridge stuffer

imaroomy — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:04:28 +0000

Last school year, my roommate would cram my tiny fridge with what seemed like hundreds of half-consumed water bottles. Besides the fact that this was incredibly wasteful, I knew it wasn’t good for the fridge to keep it overstuffed all the time. After I warned her of the possibility of it overheating many times, one day I came home and she said, “I think the fridge has a problem, it’s actually making things hotter now.” MRS

From: Columbia, Mo.

Back together

imaroomy — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:00:37 +0000

This February, my then-roomy and her boyfriend finally pretty much broke up after a lot of drama. On Valentine’s Day, I walked into our room to get ready for a date and witnessed, in the worst way imaginable, them getting back together. MRS

From: Columbia, Mo.

Solicitation

imaroomy — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:21:37 +0000

So the first little story got posted. Now it’s time to hear from you.

We want your sucky roommate stories. The requirements are easy:

The story must be true. Sure, I cannot confirm your story through verification/fact checks. But c’mon, let’s be honest. The best — or worst, rather — stories are likely to be real.
The story has to be about your roommate. We all have friends with shitty roommates, but we want your stories. And if you have friends with anecdotes worth sharing, tell them to send it to us!
Keep it brief. Nobody wants to read about how you got stuck with a bum, or how he or she (or it?) signed the lease. Just give us the goods. Try to hold stories to about 100 words or less. Also, keep in mind we’ll be editing the stories to take out names, addresses and unnecessary content. So with that in mind, your submitted piece is subject to editing that will not change the story, only cut details for anonymity.
Give us a general location. Again, we don’t want your address and apartment number. However, we’d like to know from where these vignettes originate. It doesn’t have to be in the story, but tell us what city or college you’re in somewhere in the e-mail.
It does not have to be super recent. Let’s tell stories that happened in the last 12 months. If you’re 65 and remember terrible incidents from your college years, well … too bad. Again, I’m incapable of fact checking, but more recent stories are likely fresher in your mind, richer in detail and better.

Alright, so get going. Shoot us the hilarity and disappointment that is your living situation. Send stories to myroomysucks@gmail.com. In the meantime, enjoy another one:

For nine months, the only band my roommate listened to was Sufjan Stevens. I once enjoyed Sufjan, until my roommate butchered his songs on guitar while trying to play along. I cannot listen to Sufjan without hearing the discordant sounds of my roommate’s guitar. MRS

First story

imaroomy — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:26:36 +0000

My roommate came back to our apartment at about 3 a.m. She was loud, and I heard lots of zippers. After she left, I got up to turn off the hallway light. On the kitchen counter, I found a note that said, “Going to Chicago. Will pay you back for bread. COLLEGE!” My loaf of bread was gone, and I wanted a PBJ sandwich for lunch the next day. MRS